Lately I've been dropping the word connection a lot. It comes back in the pieces I write for Kata², in the conversations I have with my family or friends and also in the Instagram live broadcast.
I also hear people around me talking more and more about connection.
Perhaps not that surprising, if we look at what we had to deal with worldwide in the past year. The Corona pandemic known to us all, in which, among other things, the 1.5 meter distance became a new rule. The (spontaneous) contact from person to person is suddenly not so obvious anymore.
I think that (almost) every human being basically needs contact. If it's not a conversation, it's a touch in the form of a hand, a hug, an encouraging pat on the back, or any other form of physical contact.
I personally think making contact and being in contact is an indispensable thing. I myself am a person who loves people just as well and just as much, as I also love silence. If you read back my words in my writing for Kata², I am talking about the connection that I, as a Moluccan Dutch woman, was able to find in and within myself. The connection between two cultures, which are intertwined in me, but also the connection to people, animals, nature. In short, the connection in and with life.
But what is connection?
Connection according to writer Brené Brown
“The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued. It is about being able to give and receive without judgment and derive support and strength from the relationship.”
I personally think this is a very nice, inspiring approach, a way of thinking and vision that I can agree with and also try to act and live by.
I think that every person needs to feel seen, heard and valued. One of the frequently heard points of attention is loneliness among the elderly. But we also increasingly hear that young people, despite the internet and other means of communication, are struggling with this.
Do you extend the sense of being seen, heard and appreciated to the issue and experience of my Moluccan father, my Moluccan family and the 70 years of Moluccans in the Netherlands. Then the words Seen, Heard and Feel Appreciated can create a bridge and an open path to connection.
How? By talking and staying with each other. Discussing the sadness, the possibilities, the pain, the growth, the learning points, the spearheads, etc. Asking questions to each other, listening to the answer, the vision and thoughts of the other person and each other. Very human and understandable, we will sometimes have a different opinion or vision. Is that a hindrance? Yes maybe. But then let the obstacle be a way and an invitation to explore new ways. If we can't do it from the left, we try right, if we can't go up, we try down, but whatever we do, let's make a move forward. Let's keep talking together and look ahead and move on. The past can no longer be changed, we can no longer reverse or undo it. We can and may learn from it together and give new colors and shapes to our present. Because after all, that is where we are together, in the present
Whether you are Moluccan, Dutch, Indonesian, Surinamese, Japanese, Chinese or of another nationality. We are all human and each of us wants to feel seen, heard and valued.
That starts with respectful listening and an open conversation.
There is still so much to say and philosophize about the word connection, but I will save that for another writing. I close this Kata² with a free flow of words, in which I let my thoughts go in silence.
You can see it as my helping hand and invitation to connect.
Nusa Ina
Gandong ~ Connection