When I was in the middle of it
May I take you (again) for an excursion into my world of thoughts. This time I'm taking you to the burnout. Did you know that language is also evolving. A word like burnout did not exist in my youth, or it was not or hardly used in the vernacular. But first let me start with the meaning of burnout, according to Dale's dictionary.
* burnout (de; m; plural: burnouts) A state of mental exhaustion as a result of prolonged stress *
A burn out is freely translated into Dutch, burnt out or overtired. Being tired or overtired is of all times and I think it will always be there to a greater or lesser extent. And yes, I know this from my childhood. Although much less was spoken or written about it, it was there.
In the past, take it away 20 years, I hear a lot more about this in my area. Search Google for burnout and a whole world will open up to you. The entire internet is full of information, which is offered in various and very different ways. I've had a burnout myself and I have to be honest. I found it especially very tiring, because I couldn't get ahead and got tired of my own fatigue. Absolutely no fun to experience, but now that I look back on it, it was not surprising that I eventually got burned out.
When I was in the middle of it, I was very disappointed and wanted it resolved as soon as possible. In the meantime, my view of a burnout has changed somewhat. It's just my changing outlook and opinion, but looking back now, I think it's a good thing I got burned out. I went so enormously beyond my own limits or maybe it is better described as saying "I did not indicate my own limits". I wanted to live up to expectations as best I could, be normal and fit in. I was, as they call it, a people pleaser. Well, there I was with my good behavior. Burn out, people pleaser and then? Yes, I recognized myself in the behavior of a people pleaser, but how do I change that "learned" behavior and not unimportant to me. Is the opposite of a people pleaser a people teaser?
I learned from home to be there for others. That is also one of the reasons that I share my thoughts through Lain Sayang Lain (loosely translated as loving each other/caring for each other). I am still grateful for the part of culture and education, based on the Lain Sayang Lain philosophy. Does this mean that I am a people pleaser because of that part of my upbringing and therefore suffered a burnout? Yes and no. Well, that's going to help you with an answer like that. I will try to clarify myself. Yes, because due to various circumstances I did not have the skills or tools to take up my own space. Because saying no to someone felt especially unkind. And then my own voice in my head said, if you say no, then the other person will no longer like you, then you are not being polite. No, because over the years I have learned step by step to indicate my limits, or as I would describe it myself. I have learned to take up my own space. No, that didn't happen overnight.
No, it wasn't always easy, but it brought me so much more than I could ever imagine. Therefore yes & no.
In my opinion, it is mainly a piece of growth and awareness. From burnout and people pleaser to being myself. By taking up my own space I am just being open and honest with myself and with you.
As the author Anita Moorjani writes in her book "Dying to be":
“by playing the role that someone else expects, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to be yourself and with that you deprive the other person of getting to know you (true self)”.
Freely translated and from that point of view I say.
Thank you burnout. You seemed like an enemy, but you turned out to be a friend.
Nusa Ina
Burnout